When Your Co-Parent Alienates You From the School and Doctor — Your Rights and What to Do

What This Alienation Looks Like

Being excluded from your child’s school and medical life takes several forms — some are obvious violations of your court order, others exploit gaps in the system:

• The other parent tells the school you are not to be contacted or given information
• You are not listed on the school’s contact forms or emergency forms
• School events, teacher conferences, and IEP meetings are scheduled without notifying you
• The other parent signs medical release forms and consent forms without your knowledge or agreement
• Medical providers are told you do not have parental rights or are not to be given information
• You are excluded from your child’s therapy — the therapist has only been told the other parent’s version
• The other parent changes the child’s school, doctor, or therapist without notice or agreement

Your Legal Rights at the School

Under the federal Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) and Texas law, both parents have equal rights to their child’s educational records regardless of which parent has primary custody — unless a court order specifically removes those rights. A court order that gives primary custody to one parent does not automatically strip the other parent of access to school records.

Your rights include:

• Access to all educational records — grades, attendance, disciplinary records, IEP documents
• The right to be notified of school events, parent-teacher conferences, and IEP meetings
• The right to receive all communications sent home with the child or by school administration
• The right to speak directly with teachers and school counselors
• The right to participate in school events during your possession time — and to attend public events regardless of whose possession time it is

Your Legal Rights With Medical Providers

Both parents who have not been specifically stripped of parental rights by court order have the right to access their child’s medical records and to receive medical information about their child. Under HIPAA, this right belongs to the child’s legal guardian — which includes both parents unless a court order says otherwise.

Your rights include:

• Access to all of your child’s medical records
• The right to speak directly with the child’s treating physician or therapist
• The right to be notified of appointments and to attend appointments during your possession time
• The right to participate in treatment decisions when joint decision-making is required by your court order

Contact the child’s medical providers directly, in writing, providing a copy of your court order. Request to be listed as a parent and to receive independent communications. Most providers are not deliberately excluding you — they are following instructions from the parent who brought the child in; correcting the record changes the situation.

What Your Court Order Says — And What It Should Say

Texas custody orders typically include provisions governing educational and medical decision-making. Standard provisions include:

• The right of both parents to access medical and school records independently
• The right to attend school events regardless of possession schedule
• Requirements for one parent to notify the other of medical appointments
• The requirement for joint agreement on non-emergency medical procedures
• Designation of who selects healthcare providers and educational placements

If your current order is vague or silent on these issues, that gap is being exploited. A motion to clarify or modify the order to add specific protections is the appropriate legal remedy. When building or modifying a high-conflict parenting order, every right of access to educational and medical information should be explicitly stated.

Documentation and Legal Action

Document every instance of being excluded — date, what you were excluded from, how you discovered it, your communications attempting to address it, and any response. This documentation supports:

• A motion to enforce if the exclusion violates your current court order
• A modification motion based on the pattern of alienation
• The Amicus Attorney’s or social study evaluator’s assessment of alienating behavior
• Evidence of the other parent as the source of conflict in your case